Linked it a lot to yourself and backed up your point very well, would just change some sentence structure and word choice to make it flow a bit better. Great use of quotes throughout the paper, you introduced the person along with what the quote meant and how you felt about it. Also, strong ways of showing both sides of the argument, not just yours. Helped to bring a nice touch to help understand what angle you were approaching it at. Your thesis is very strong and the intro is a good hook for the rest of the paper to get the readers attention and to get them aware of what the goal of your paper is going to be.